Mammogram Exercises

(Just for fun!)

Many women are afraid of their first mammograms, but there is no need to worry.  By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and, best of all, you can do these simple practices right in your own home.

Exercise # 1

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box.  Have one of your strongest friends slam the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.  Hold that position for five seconds.  Repeat again in case the first time wasn't enough.

Exercise # 2

Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect.  Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car.  Ask a friend to slowly back up the car until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.  Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

Exercise # 3

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist.  Invite a stranger into the room.  Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.  Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.  You are now properly prepared.

Just one more thought for all the women out there:

MENtal illness

MENstrual cramps

MENtal breakdown

MENopause

Ever notice how all of a woman's problems start with MEN? And, when we have real trouble, it's a HISterectomy.

I am still laughing. Barbara

Allergy and Asthma Tips

Laughter may truly be the best medicine according to the Journal of the American Medical Association. Two groups of patients received skin prick tests using a commercial allergen before and after watching different videos. Some allergic patients watched a very funny Charlie Chaplin movie Modern Times, while others watched weather information. The results showed that allergic reactions were reduced for four hours after the viewing of the comedy...no effect after the weather video. Does this mean that laughter may have a role in reducing allergies? Maybe.

Some people with ragweed allergies may have a cross-reaction to melons, such as watermelon, honeydew or cantaloupe.

Washing blankets in hot water gets rid of more than 95% of dust-mite allegens, while dry cleaning reduces them by 70%.

To discourage mold growth, use a cleaning solution containing 5% bleach and a small amount of detergent on shower curtains or doors, and an anti-mold solution (or weak bleach solution without detergent) to wash windows, window frames, and windowsills where condensation collects.

If you have hay fever, wash your hair at night. That will remove any pollen and keep it from settling on pillow and bedding.

For more good allergy and asthma information check out: www.allergydoctors.com